Life at 23

I can’t remember the last time I asked myself, “what do I want for my birthday?” At some point I kind of just realized, I have everything I need. That doesn’t mean that I have everything figured out. I still want things, but I know if I don’t get them, I will be okay. It won’t change who I am. It won’t change what I can do.

As I get older the things I valued start to change. Money, prestige and material possessions are cheap and can be recovered. However, time, energy and emotional well being are non-renewable. Learn to protect them.

It took me 23 years to get here. I made a lot of mistakes and even learned a few things along the way. Here are some lessons I like to regularly remind myself of.

Remember your death

The only certainty in life is that we are all going to die. People of all ages die all the time in unexpected circumstances. Let the one certainty that you have in life guide your decision-making process.

You might not die today

Walking around like every day is your last is no way to live day-to-day life, its downright destructive behavior. Instead, live every day like it’s your last before being deployed. If you were being deployed tomorrow, you would take care of business, have some fun and enjoy time with loved ones.

Know your why

What are your priorities? What do you stand for? What is your prize? You should have your own, personal answers to these questions. Otherwise, you hopelessly end up comparing yourself to others.

People exaggerate all the time

Most people exaggerate about how good their lives are. No one wants to admit to being anxious, depressed and insecure. When people tell you about their lives, nod politely and forget it. Don’t compare yourself. Don’t get jealous. Move on.

You don’t have to be friends with everyone

In the past few years, I’ve been lucky enough to meet some amazing people who are now close friends. But I have also had more people walk in and out of my life than I ever thought possible. When I was younger this would bother me, but now I embrace it. You don’t need to keep everyone around. If you don’t get rid of the wrong friends, you will never meet the right friends.

You don’t have to answer every invitation

“Diversity is being invited to the party. Inclusion is being asked to dance.” Will I be asked to dance? I use this question as I guideline as to how I spend my time.

Keep your nut small

Minimize the amount of money that you spend every month. There is nothing wrong with having nice things. I just think, as a young person you don’t want to be trapped at a job because you need the money to pay for your AMG Mercedes. I rather have the freedom to take risks. Remember, almost no one downgrades their lifestyle on purpose.

Winners focus on winning. Losers focus on what winners are doing.

What are you focusing on? If it is too much of the latter than maybe you need to shift your priorities.

If the grass is greener on the other side, the gardener is making more.

Guess, who is paying his salary?

Read More

Off the top of my head, I can name 3 books that I read in the past year. This number is embarrassingly low compared to the amount of many movies I watched or the time I spent on YouTube. If the most successful people in the world consume a book a week, why don’t I?

Educate yourself

Learn how to learn. Learn how to read. Learn how to eat. Learn how to workout. You are going to be living on the same earth in the same body for the rest of your life. You might as well optimize the things that don’t change.

Always say less than necessary

You want people to think that you are normal. Find another outlet for the stress and the emotions. Remember, the crazy stays at home.

Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it

When you are strong or witty, there is always the temptation to reprimand someone when they say or do something stupid. It’s fun and it makes you feel good. But remember, on the receiving end, there is another person, with their own pride, ego, and emotions. These things have a funny of coming back to haunt you down the line.

That’s it for me. I hope these lessons were able to benefit you. If I am lucky enough to be here next year I may write a follow-up post. Will you be around to read it?