Life at 29

Today is March 19.

It is not January 12. It is not my birthday.

Instead, it’s the birthday of one of my closest friends. I was speaking to him a few days ago and he told me every year he gets sad on his birthday. When I asked why, he said that his birthday was a reminder of everything he has yet to accomplish.

Every year on my birthday I have a similar thought. But I drown it out by writing about some of the lessons I’ve learned in the past year. This year I was extremely sick on the week of my birthday, so I couldn’t write at the time. And then I procrastinated so I never finished this draft.

In honor of my friend, I am publishing Life at 29, in the hopes that he will publish something for me as well.

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Enter Life at 29….

In my early twenties, I was introduced to the work of Ryan Holiday. I found him and his work to be refreshing, captivating, and something I deeply resonated with. Over the years my sentiments have changed. I no longer buy all of his books or read all of his articles. However, one of his practices that has heavily influenced me is the annual birthday article.

Every year, on his birthday, Ryan writes an article about what he has learned in the past year. Every year I make sure to read it. Most of them are forgettable, but for me, I found one of them to be jaw-dropping.

Six years ago, I started a similar practice. I write and publish an article on my birthday about the lessons I’ve learned in the past year. I know most of mine will be forgettable as well. But I hope one day I can create something that will be truly jaw-dropping.

Maybe today is that day.

“Life is simple, you make choices and you don’t look back.” — Han, Tokyo Drift

When it doubt decide. And when you decide, commit. And if you realize things aren’t working the way you thought, then make another decision.

Between decision and action limit(or eliminate) any time spent on analysis. Most analysis is premature and a waste of time. This applies to people like myself who overanalyze everything as a default — if you’re on the other extreme, do the opposite.

Don’t compare yourself to people who don’t share your ambition.

This is pretty straightforward. Everyone does not have the same goals and priorities in life. Competing with someone who is running a different race is just frustrating. It’s not fair to them and it’s not fair to yourself. Don’t do it!

“The Mind of a perfectionist is always in pain” — Gerald

This is something that I struggled with for a long time, but now I’ve come to accept it.

“You can’t protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.” — Dr Naseer Karimian

If someone says, “I never want to be let down, so I will never make a friend.”

That is a valid solution to the problem of never being let down. But at the same time, this person will never enjoy friendship. Being cautious is one way to avoid pain and harm in this life. But at the same time, one avoids all the potential joy as well. Living like this is just silly.

Always do something you MAY regret.

Notice how I said “may” regret and now “will” regret. If you are on the fence about a decision always do it. You may benefit from it or you may regret it. But if you don’t do it, you will always regret it. So if the result is the same(regret) you might as well do it.

Men learn through pain

Growing up I was taught that “Smart people learn from their mistakes, but wise people learn from the mistakes of others.”

In general, this is good advice. However, when you focus too much on learning from the mistakes of others, the lessons don’t stick. There is no replacement for making and learning from your own mistakes. For men, the best teacher is pain. And there is no shame in admitting that.

The days are long but the decades are short.

Working these long days, you don’t see where the years ago. The next thing you know you are on 30’s door. But hope is not lost. Life goes on. I guess it’s about making each day better than the last, each year better than the last.

Until next time…

I don’t know what you’ve been told,

But time is running out so spend it like it’s gold.